Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparklemotion.
Joaquin Phoenix as ‘Theodore Twombly’ in “Her’ (via annehathawaystits)
Samantha, Her (2013)
Put me in a social setting and I’m fine interacting with those around me.
Put me in a hallway where I’m one of two people and suddenly my shoes or phone become the most interesting thing I’ve ever seen.
I’m not sure at what age I got scared of looking people in the eyes.
Yes, that sentence sounds ridiculous and makes me out to be some incredibly socially awkward person, but I swear I’m not. (Well not too severely at least).
I don’t know when/where that was deemed socially unacceptable. A girl smiling at a boy shouldn’t entail that she is “interested” and a boy smiling at a girl should not make him creepy.
It’s being friendly, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
So challenge of the day: look up from your phone, smile at a stranger
Spring 2013 was a wake-up call.
Regardless of how diligently I had worked, and how many times I had called financial aid to the school I wanted to attend, it wasn’t happening.
And I watched as my peers, who had worked equally as hard as me (maybe harder, who knows), get to go to the schools they wanted.
I, of course, was ecstatic for them because they deserved it - but why did I get shorted?
After all that work I wasn’t going anywhere needless to say I felt a bit cheated.
Now, that doesn’t mean I’m ungrateful because I know college is expensive and it’s not a god-given right and I’m lucky to be going anywhere.
But it was just my first look at how nothing is guaranteed even with a solid work ethic.
Some of the population has what they want handed to them. Some work hard and still earn it. Some work hard and don’t.
Regardless of the means, others successes should not become comparisons to your own successes/failures.
Since spring and college decisions, I suppose I gave up for a bit. Especially when during fall semester, classes and leadership opportunities didn’t come as easily to me as they had in high school. But I’m happy to be where I am and to meet the people I’ve met. I do still wonder what it would have been like elsewhere, but had everything worked out nicely, I may not have been nearly as appreciative.
In part due to the new year and in part to how the semester finished out I’ve reevaluated. I could just sound whiny, but here’s the point:
Maybe life will be ridiculously generous with you. Not to say it hasn’t with me and that I haven’t stumbled upon lots of blessings. But everyone has their struggles to knock them down and while mine may not be as serious as ones others have experienced, they’re what I know. I hope if life keeps handing you lemonade, you enjoy it and recognize it.
Maybe you’ll end up in the boat where you get screwed over at some point (or multiple points). Your coworker who just started gets that promotion because his dad is best friend with the boss, You break your leg before the big championship game and watch your team win without you. You fall in love with someone who says they don’t believe in love, but he/she winds up married nearly a month later (500 Days of Summer, anyone?)
But the thing is to keep going, because someone will recognize your importance and so long as you don’t quit on yourself, you don’t really lose.